Fruitcake

Holliday Fruitcake recepee

Anon (see below)

Sliced English Fruitcake, the inside of the cake shows the red cherries, sultanas and other dried fruit often inside a cake of this variety

The late and much missed Mary Axford 🔗 circulated this from a post by Dennis Allen to sff.discuss.humor 🔗 ‘from an email friend’. Anyone wants to claim attribution, please mail us.

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Ingredients

  • 1 cup sugar
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 cups dried fruits
  • 4 oz butter
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • ½ cup nuts
  • 1 bottle whiskey

Method

  1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

  2. Get a large bowl out.

  3. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it.

  4. Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in the large fluffy bowl.

  5. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

  6. Make sure the whiskey is still okay.

  7. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.

  8. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl.

  9. Chuck in the cup of dried fruits.

  10. Mix on the turner.

  11. If fired druit gets stuck in the beatererers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

  12. Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity.

  13. Next sift two cups of salt or something.

  14. Who cares? Check the whiskey again.

  15. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

  16. Add one table.

  17. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

  18. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 350 degrees.

  19. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

  20. Throw the bowl out the window.

  21. Check the whiskey again and go to bed.


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