🔗The late and much missed Mary Axford 🔗 circulated this from a post by Dennis Allen to sff.discuss.humor 🔗 ‘from an email friend’. Anyone wants to claim attribution, please mail us.
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Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Get a large bowl out.
Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in the large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay.
Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
Beat two leggs and add to the bowl.
Chuck in the cup of dried fruits.
Mix on the turner.
If fired druit gets stuck in the beatererers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity.
Next sift two cups of salt or something.
Who cares? Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again and go to bed.
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In some countries, iodine is added to salt for public health reasons. In Ireland we are an island with a large fish and dairy component to our diet, so our salt has no iodine added, but when I mention salt, feel free to substitute whatever kind of salt your requirements dictate.
Ireland is on GMT (UTC), one hour behind Central European, five hours ahead of Eastern, eight hours ahead of Pacific, and 8–12 hours behind Oz/NZ, depending on location. We love to get your calls, but at 4am our time we’re likely to be asleep.
